I love God. I love how much he loves me, how no matter what happens he always loves me.
I have been realizing that my relationship with God has been stale of late. That I have not been spending really any quality time at all with him. I prayed the other night out of frustration and feeling like I was not hearing from God anymore, like it was Jesus who had stopped talking to me. Sometimes I am so silly. So I prayed to him, I prayed to hear him, and to know what he wanted from me. And Jeremiah 29:13 is what he said.
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart"
There is it. In very easy to understand, no hidden meaning, just seek him with all my heart, plain english. And so I prayed, "Lord, please do not let me find you fully until I seek you with all my heart, do not reveal yourself to me until I do that". I want to know that I am actually running after God, that he is not an afterthought at the end of the day... 'oh yeah, I better pray'. That he is not the last person I consult when I have a decision to make, that I do not take tylenol before I pray to him when I have a headache, that I ask him what he thinks of this movie that I want to watch, this book I want to read, these clothes that I want to wear.
I want to know his voice so well that I know when I hear him, I don't wonder over whether or not it is just me thinking a nice thing, that it truly is the Living God bringing a message or a prophecy or an interpretation. I want to love the Lord my God with all my heart, all my soul and all my mind, and I really want to love my neighbour as myself. Jeremiah 29:13.... of course.