on being pregnant

well, most people in my life know that I am pregnant,
but maybe the people who read this blog (there must be some of you left!) don't all know yet.

I am actually half way there. But the thing is this:
sometimes I am afraid that something will go wrong.

Last summer in June, my husband and I found out that we were pregnant,
we did an excited (and partially surprised) happy dance.
We told many of our close friends right away and around 9 weeks we told pretty much everyone and our families.

I had seen my family doctor early on, but because of a genetic blood clotting disorder I have, we were referred to a high risk doctor. When I was able to get in there at 10 weeks, we found out some sad news. It turned out that the little developing egg never really developed. It turned out in the end to be a molar pregnancy, something despite being a nurse, I had never heard of before.
A molar pregnancy is when the cells for some reason come together and divide properly. In fact, it basically is like a tumor and can end up being cancerous. So I had to have a chest x-ray and everything to make sure it didn't spread. You can imagine the shock of going in for an ultrasound to see your baby and instead discovering you may have cancer. A little unsettling to say the least.

After this news, I had to have blood work to make sure all my hCG levels (or baby hormones if you will) were coming done, if they went up that can be a sign that the cells have spread. Because of this, we also had to wait 6 months before trying to get pregnant again. The good news was that if you wait the 6 months, and your hCG has come way down, it is very rare to have it happen again.

So, 6 months later, we started trying again, and bingo, first time's a charm!

My lovely lovely lovely OB/GYN Dr. Cargill booked us in right away at 6 weeks for an ultrasound.

That ultrasound was nothing more than a dot, the teeniest dot. But that little dot... it had a heartbeat.
We decided to tell our friends and family right away, it was amazing to have their support the first time through, and a missions trip I was supposed to go on but didn't because I was advised against it, pretty much gave away that something was up.

We've had probably 4 ultrasounds already, though the last one was around 12 weeks, and I have heard the heartbeat 3 times since then, but I still get this dreading feeling right before I have my next appointment. I find that doing things that make this pregnancy seem more real help, like registering for baby items, and telling my work, and even writing this post (probably part of the delay in writing it has to do with a little fear).

But here is the thing. My God is a big God. He sees me, and Thom and he knows our hearts. I trust Him and love Him no matter what.

I believe this baby will come, he or she will come healthy and will be loved loved loved.
By us, our family and all our friends.

Monday we have our ultrasound to find out if baby is a he or a she.
I will be putting a little picture up here after that.

oh spring...

oh spring...
when will you come to stay?

I have been growing some little seedlings indoors and I have been waiting to put them into their pots on my balcony, then yesterday...
we had snow
ew.

I truly do not mind snow in the winter, but after a couple of weeks of +18 degree Celsius weather, snow was a fairly unwelcome surprise!

and my little indoor seedlings keep on getting bitten by a mischievous Olivia the Cat!
I've started keeping my plants on the cutting board, which is not Thom's favourite spot for them, but it does seem to be the only place that Liv won't jump up on.

Speaking of my husband, can I share just one of the lovely reasons I love him?
Monday night, at 11pm, when we were both already snug in our beds, I suddenly remembered the forecast for that night and the next day, and my hydrangea still sitting on the balcony, and my wonderous hubby got out of bed to save that little ol' plant from freezing!
That is love!

the long overdue circle quilt!

this quilt has been a little while in the making. i actually started it before baby isaac was born, but then school and sickness and other things got in the way.

this may also be one of the very few circle quilts i make, i loved making it, but it was tricky!! lining up all those circles took a lot of time!

i do love the way that it turned out though!

here is baby isaac lounging on it. we have had a rough start to our relationship, it seems he never forgave me for poking him very hard when he was in the womb, one time (while still womb-bound) he kicked me very hard, sort of a get-your-hands-off-of-me kind of kick! that little man always gives me furrowed brows and sideways glances and the first time i held him he screamed!!

but by the looks of this picture, i may be forgiven!!

you can see this pic and some of the other blankets that baby isaac at ben and mary's blog

Baby Isaac is here now. He is Ben and Mary's little guy, he came about 3 days after Mary and I finished the nursery. We figure he couldn't wait to see it. He was a week early and delivered at home! See the pics of the nursery here.

He may love the nursery but he seems to remember all to well all the belly pokes I gave Mary to get him moving. Today he grumbled in my arms and kept giving me shifty glances. I don't think he trusts me.

Once I finally give him his quilt he will be much happier with me. Maybe he thinks that I forgot it!

i won!!!

hurray!

I have been following lots of blogs over the past 6 months. One that I really like is The Shabby Nest, Wendy's blog.

She has the same love for anything shabby, thrifted and found as I do.

So, this past week I entered her contest to win some beautiful apothecary towels from Dreams of France.

And. I. Won.

wonderful! I can't wait!

Thanks Wendy!!

wah wah wah....

Story of the hour...

our laptop is on the fritz. it seems that a mysterious dog knocked a mysterious tv remote onto it and the screen split in two.

booo.

so internet availability is currently limited while the lovely Dan Devine (his real name!) tries to remove the old screen and put a new one in.

oh i do hope it can be fixed!

so needless to say, the posts may be even more limited!

an exerpt from my book reflection

Hello all!
So as promised, here is a tidbit of my reflection on Bill Johnson's book, Strengthen Yourself in the Lord: How to Release the Hidden Power of God in Your Life.

I really enjoyed this book. It was not necessarily filled with ground breaking revelation, but it did have simple truths to accompany revelation some things that I have learned throughout this year already.

The point he made that I was most struck by, was how we are to receive the Word of God and the promises that he speaks over our lives. I learned that when I hear the promises that God speaks, I need to hang on to them no matter what the circumstances.

David is used as an example throughout this book. As Johnson puts it “David did not assume the throne until 10-13 years after Samuel had anointed him...in those interim years, David endured more difficulty, persecution, and rejection than many of us face in a lifetime. He probably didn’t expect it to take so long to become king” (Johnson p 18). From David’s life we see how we are to hold to God’s promises over our lives. David could have called it all off after having to flee Saul in the middle of the night, forced out of the palace where he had previously lived comfortably. David might have thought that Samuel had it all wrong, that he was not the “right” one to be king, but David continued to believe God’s word over his life. There have been words spoken over my life and the things that were going on around me did not always seem to match up with what was spoken. Johnson also noted that sometimes we are taken into a wilderness, just as Jesus was led into the wilderness by the Holy Spirit. We are proving to God that we will remain faithful to him, no matter what the circumstances and that we trust Him to make good on His Word.

I definitely recommend this book, it was very helpful and good reminder as well as a quick read... which is good right now as I have many readings to do before I am done school in April. And I am definitely behind!