resolution update

back in January i resolved a few things to happen over this year.

here is the updated list:

1-to finally stop biting my nails for good -- disgusting habit, even more so when you are a nurse. blech.
update: well, they aren't being bitten, it's been about 2 months i think, but i go back to work next week, so we'll see if they last til then!!

2-to go outside with the girls in the winter! -- this is tricky for me, i don't like being cold and it seems like a 
tremendous amount of work to bundle up 2 littles when i don't want to be outside in the first place!
update: we went out a bit. proof: 

on this day Isla refused to let Megan sit on her lap

so she sat on Megan, then as we were coming home, the sled tipped, Isla barely fell out but cried like she was dying, and poor little Meggie basically did a starfish face plant into the snow, a poor little old man walking down the street jumped over about 3 snow banks and almost fell down to try and pick her up, small babies stuck face down in the snow i guess are a little alarming! anyway, when i picked Megan up she just blinked at me. This is a pretty accurate demonstration of first-born vs. second-born. 

just a little snow this winter

3-to get back into cloth diapering -- i was a cloth fiend with Isla, and i had a pretty decent start with Megan, but kind of fell off for awhile (mostly they get cleaned and then live on top of the dryer for weeks at a time!)
update: after a few fits and starts, we've been back on full time with Megan when she's not at daycare and with Isla during naps.  Yay!

4-to sew some things -- really i just want to sew, anything at all. 
update: sewed some amazing bunting for a friend's little nursery, and started a quilt! oh, and made some little face or bum cloths, hurray!

5-to read 40 books this year -- as mentioned here.
update: just finished my 13th, i would probably be further on if it weren't for the longest most disappointing finally give up JK Rowling book. 

thoughts on potty training

so.
we've been attempting potty training for about 3 and some months now.

it went awesome the first few days, than poorly then well for a month and a bit, then poorly and then very poorly.

what i mean by this is that Isla always did well when we asked her if she had to pee, but probably only told us she had to pee a handful of times.
she also has very rarely pooped on the potty.

this has been a frustrating time, lots of pees all over the place: our house, outside, and at friends's houses.

i found myself starting to be angry with her.

i was rethinking the whole potty thing when the last thing that happened was 2 visits in a row at the same friend's house she first pee'd on the couch and then the next time pee'd all over her friend's room... that was covered in toys. oy vey. (to be fair, the second time i told her not to pee on the couch, i wasn't specific enough...clearly)

i think the main thing was that i almost felt a social pressure to punish, and not that anyone was actually pressuring me... but, you know.

so i took a step back, and then this showed up in my facebook newsfeed.

toilet learning vs. toilet training.

i'm going to go ahead and say that i won't necessarily do all these things, but what stood out to me the most was this checklist

(source)

in reading this list i realized that she had not been doing a lot of these things, and in fact still wasn't.

i also needed to check myself, and if my reactions always seemed frustrated and angry, we had to change something.

so here's the thing i think, if she's not ready, she's not ready.

so starting Saturday we put her back in diapers (mostly cloth-yippee!)

and told her that she could use the potty if she wanted to, but she didn't have to.

we had a much more relaxing weekend, with a few trips to the toilet or potty,

and this morning she asked to wear a pull-up and has been pretty much using the potty on her own (go figure).

so we'll see how this week progresses, but i'm happy to not be stressed and very happy to not feel frustrated  or about something she can't control.

live and learn.

poor first born trial children ;)

I don't feel ready for this!

these two.

are off to daycare together this morning, for the first time.

Isla has continued for one day a week this past year, and today Baby Megan is joining her.

how did we get to this point? 

this year has been crazy and emotional and a little overwhelming at times,

but it's been an amazing journey to walk through and to see the bond these girls have already--i'm glad they are so close in age*

Thom is dropping them off, and i'll pick them up.

Isla did amazing on her trial days when she was 1, and i'm sure Meggie will do great as well.

i'm glad they are going to such a wonderful home daycare. 

i felt in my gut, when Isla was little, that this was the right place for them, 

and to this day i am so thankful to God for bringing Kattie into our lives.

*just to say, that i'm glad they are close, but if we have another one we will wait a weeeeeee bit longer in between.

a reading interlude

oh man, i've been on the waiting list since last summer for JK Rowling's new book "The Casual Vacancy"

-image from Amazon.ca-

i am not enjoying it, not even really one little bit.
it seems boring and i don't care or want to know any of the characters better.
if i hadn't been waiting so long (or keeping track of all my books read this year!) i would most likely put it down and walk away.

Thom says my problem is i keep calling it "that Harry Potter book"
his exact words were "you keep calling it the Harry Potter book, but Harry isn't going to apparate into this one"

he's not? well then why am i still reading it!?!

has anyone read this? does it redeem itself at all?

all i feel when i sit down to read it is: "oh, not you again"

maybe it's time to pack it in, life's too short to read bad books.

***updated to say that i read to about page 250 and then couldn't give it anymore. it was negative, filled with unnecessary swearing and terrible people... every last one of them... not worth my time or energy***

veggie garden

i swear, i've been trying to snag some final pictures of the completed bed, but it's been raining on and off for the past few days!!

come out sun!

here is a little about the process:

i used all cedar and bought it all at Lowes

4-2"x6"x12's

1-2"x6"x16' cut into 4 pieces

6-2"x2"x48" balusters

as i mentioned before, i was inspired by Miss Mary Mary's cedar bed, so i pretty much just followed along with her plans.

i dug out holes for the posts, and then my mom and i carried it over to it's spot.

i put down a thick layer of cardboard first, 

because there were lots of weeds back where the old garden was.

and then it took a lot (i mean A LOT A LOT!!) of dirt, manure (i used sheep manure) and peatmoss to fill it up.

the one thing i would change if i could do it again is that the screws i used were 3" so the ends stuck out a little, which meant that i couldn't put the screws in from the inside... for some reason i was really worried that the 2.5" screws wouldn't be long enough, but i wish I would have used them because then i would have been able to hide most of my screws.

also, because i had my end pieces cut at Lowes, they were slightly off, so while i still always wish i had my own saw at home, it worked well enough to be happy with the finished product. i probably could have asked for more specific measurements if i had been super concerned about the final product.

once that sun starts a shining, i'll get a pic of it and the rest of the gardens my mom pretty much did all on her own!!

Thanks Mom!

a veggie garden in the works!

so, when we looked at our house for the first time, Eduardo-our friend and real estate agent- looked out in the back yard and said "what do you think that is?"

my eyes sparkled as i replied: "that is a raised vegetable garden"

when we moved in to our house, the "raised" veggie garden looked like this:

well, 

it kind of looked like that, 

that is actually from October, my mom had transplanted a lily back there because there was no where else to put it, and there is also some fresh topsoil in the back left with some newspaper under it to try and ready it for the next summer.

and when we moved in, it was even more full of weeds than this:

and truthfully, when we did our final walk through, the weeds out back were probably taller than my waist.  

no exaggeration.

last weekend i attempted to make the current beds work for me.

first i thought I would just stack the smaller rectangles and make 3 smaller beds, but then i decided to take them apart and make 2 square beds. 

i got to this point:

and then i had a little huff and said to Thom: "i'm sad"

the wood was a little to rotted and ant infested to carry on.

but, being recently inspired by Miss Mary Mary's new cedar bed,

and after chatting with Thom, 

he told me get some cedar boards for Mother's Day to build my very own cedar bed!

Happy Mother's Day to me!

the building break-down to follow

it's been a week of needing an extra measure of grace.

for myself, for my girls.

we are dealing with teething and first tempers and tiredness.

it's been a week of reminding myself that i can use all my own strength,
                                                             but it probably will give out at some point.
my strength to be patient
my strength to be kind
my strength to choose my words carefully and
my strength to show love

  have all given out at some point over the past week.

today as the sun is shining through my window, i am reminded of this scripture:

Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.

See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, 
but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you.

Isaiah 60:1-2 (NIV)

and this one:

This is My command: be strong and courageous. 

Never be afraid or discouraged because I am your God, the Eternal One, 

and I will remain with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9 (the Voice)

Thank you Lord. 

Thank you for your Holy Spirit and your strength in me. 

Thank you for second chances and new beginnings.

Thank you for your forgiveness and for your never-ever-ever ending love.

Thank you for being with me and
Thank you for choosing me to be the mother of these 2 little ladies.

Amen.